A Story of three generation lesbians

《一见喜-半吐云》 长评

by zhufree at 2023-11-17

I've been following "Love at First Sight" since its inception, and I really like the story. Many people might be put off by the blunt, realistic synopsis. When I read the first chapter, I couldn't help but wonder if the main characters were the two middle-aged women about to fight? The description didn't seem to indicate so. As I read further, I realized MC and FL were the daughters and nieces of these two women, but these two elders have a significant portion of the story dedicated to them.

I would like to call it a three-generation small-town tale, because Yan Hua, the aunt of the protagonist, represents the second generation. She and her high school friend, He Xi, were close, but He Xi cut off contact because of her mother's strong opposition. Years later, after Yan Hua had married and divorced, and He Xi had become a single mother, they found each other again. By this age, no one could stop them, and they didn't care what others thought. One was burdened with guilt, and the other was filled with resentment, as they mended their relationship. The author spent a lot of time describing the interactions of this middle-aged couple, which is quite rare in JJWXC baihe genre filled with young, beautiful couples and couples with age differences.

The first generation is set during the Republic and the Revolution, represented by the MC's great-aunt. This is the 'task' given by Aunt Yan Hua to the main couple (Yan Long and Wang Yanyan) at the beginning - to get recognition for great-aunt's lover's status as a martyr. This task brought the two main characters, who didn't see eye to eye, back together years after their childhood, and they discovered their attraction to each other. The author is currently updating the story of these two elderly people when they were young.

As for the main couple, the third generation, they are an ordinary worker and a small-town exam taker, laden with buffs in the description. Many people may see themselves in these characters: born in a small town, with an ordinary family, working hard to make a living, or studying for years for a stable job as an officer. They realize their love for each other in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life, but they have to face many hurdles, just as the second generation did. Even with the support of Aunt Yan Hua and their friends, the pressure from their families caused them a lot of suffering.

In portraying small-town families, the author's depiction is quite typical: Yan Long's family has a patriarchal father, a well-disciplined mother, and a brother who lacks talent but has everything he needs. The only bright spot is the sister-in-law, who decides to leave the family and her marriage after witnessing everything Yan Long went through and her husband's indifference. Wang Yanyan's family consists of an incompetent father and a fierce, yet stuck mother. Regardless of whether the family is rich or poor, both the fathers and brothers have extramarital affairs, and their spouses can do nothing about it. So every time the author writes about the family, my blood pressure rises due to my anger, but what's more infuriating is that we know these families are common, and these situations are common.

One discussion that left a deep impression on me was when Yan Hua and He Xi were discussing whose family would be more difficult to deal with when Yan Long and Wang Yanyan come out. Yan Hua thought that Wang Yanyan's mother was very aggressive and would surely create a fuss. However, He Xi pointed out sharply that it was Yan Hua's family that would be the most difficult to handle because Yan Long's father was the decision-maker, and the mother was merely pushed forward to carry out the decisions. In Wang Yanyan's family, the father was powerless, and the mother, despite her fiery temperament, would always soften for her daughter. In the end, Yan Long was hit on the head with an ashtray by her father and sent to a conversion therapy center, suffering a lot before coming out. In contrast, Wang Yanyan's mother couldn't bear to be tough on her daughter, and even her relationship with her old rival Yan Hua improved.

I chose this title because I'm also a lesbian from a small town, and I can easily empathize with the characters' experiences. Coming out is hard, being accepted is nearly impossible, and even being single is difficult. Being born female in this place is already hard mode, and being attracted to women is like hell mode. Apart from coming out and moving to the big city, there are hardly any other choices. It's great to see worlds becoming more accepting, same-sex marriage is allowed, and all-female societies in different novels, but I'm also moved that writers like Ban Tu Yun are still depicting our bitter, painful reality. However, this doesn't mean that the whole story is tragic. On the contrary, many parts of the narrative are humorous and witty. The high blood pressure is real, but the excellent writing is also real. I hope more people can see this.